hmmm....

it seems im only to live and not divulge my feelings and emotions to others. not unless i tell them to the persons it relates to. seem to drift apart every time i admit or share a sensitive issue with a neutral party. im a total loss to how it always seem to happen. i know that i should be making more efforts. but things seem to completely block me off. ive grown weak to facing up to failures. its always so difficult to pick myself up so thats why i look to minimize my misgivings. be more cautious and open minded and strong.

I don't mean to run.
But every time you come around I feel more confusion than ever.
And I guess it's too much, maybe I'm still too young and I don't even know what's real.
But I know I never wanted anything so bad.

If you let me love you.
Be the one adored.
Would you go all the way?
And be the one I'm looking for.

Help me come back down
From high above the clouds.
But I blame myself.
And why do I deny the things that burn down deep
I'm barely breating.
But you just give a smile.
And I don't want to let this go.

next year

it went fine, but im gonna be among the top next year. slight disappointment, i wanna rectify that. im not serious enough this time. but, anyhow, congrats to the top 3. the standard is set. its gonna be different for me next year. and much more difficult.

hmm..

I have almost everything a human could desire
Cars and houses to light my fire
But there's something missing
Something isn't there
It seems I'm never kissing the one that I could care for

I want something to live for
Someone to make my life an adventurous dream
Oh, what wouldn't I give for
Someone who'd take my life and make it seem
Gay as they say it ought to be

Why can't I have love like that brought to me?
My eye is watching the noon crowds
searching the promenades seeking a clue
To the one who will someday be my
Something to live for
Something to live for
Something to live for 

this is pretty nice. made me wonder a lil. cuz i have mouthed those very questions to myself i guess, from time to time.

oie~

breyann lennard rafael.

im giving u the whole of this month to get ur ass working hard. sch work are to be done well and be attentive and not let ur concentration drop. drink lots of coffee or tea if it helps.
symphonic pracs are now to focus on the solo com till its over and ensure u feel that u've dine the best alr. in other words, dun regret blah blah. try not to re visit those times after attempts at auditions.
jazz music should flood your brain whenever silence is ringing in your ears.like now.
PUT SOME MUSIC ON!
-done?-
alright. as i was saying. learn and know the basic and fundamentals of theory. practice too. and listen to more influences so that u may grasp that tone u feel u lack. dun be lazy u fat ass!

finally, so that u wont be nagged too much at by folks. try ur hardest to fall asleep by 12. and its 6 minutes away. latest 1230. okay? anyway, u know yourself that u wouldnt be so easily half dead during classes if u did had a lil bit more sleep.
right, i believe u'd do well. now go and make this month fruitful. dun fking come back emo one corner ah! i'll knnbccb ur ass. ;p

drannelnnayerb! saxy~